Unpredictable
by Jaxalie
Summary: So now I’m sat here, looking out to the waters what once seemed so calm and full of prospect, and despising everything I have become over my lifetime. I’m not strong enough to stay away from my hearts desire" - One Shot. Jacob POV. note: Opera is Oprah


_A/N: this is my first fic in Jacob POV. I hope you like it, It's a bit deep, I've chosen to set it sometime by the beginning of Eclipse, because that is when this fits best. I know that Jacob is a bit scattered, but he would be, because he's young and he's got so much on his plate. There is also a cameo from everyone's favourite wolf, Seth, and it may seem a bit ooc, but it had to be done. There is a foot note too…_

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**Unpredictable**

Sometimes it seems like everything I try and do for the greater good goes to pot. I can't quite bring myself to pin point exactly when my life took this turn, but I know deep down I will not regret it, because the things that brought me to where I am have now shaped who I will become. Sure I miss all the days when I could be just a kid, going round carefree, nothing to worry for but the task at hand, no plans of future, and no regrets of the past, but being where I am with my life I feel like those times of ignorance were not as blissful as one would think, for one thing I was living off delusions, delusions that somehow, some way, the girl of my dreams would forget about the monster in the dark and choose the person of light right before her eyes. Who had I been kidding, I was naïve, stupid, and convinced I was in love. And in a way I was, she holds so much over me even in this moment, but the idea of being second best has caused my mind to drift, to wonder, and to will that I will find someone else, someone who was not in love with the wrong guy. Such a pity my heart wont follow his example.

So now I'm sat here, looking out to the waters what once seemed to calm and full of prospect, and despising everything I have become over my lifetime. I'm not strong enough to stay away from my hearts desire, and yet I have to, if I do not then I will lose her in more ways than one, and that would be like surrendering, which is something I would never do, not while she still lived in danger, of heartbreak, of monsters, of death.

And yet if I do not keep away then, Isabella will be in his arms forever. When I know in my heart she is meant to be in mine. I fear that if I leave then she will be drawn into him more, but if I stay she may run away from me, and ultimately back to him. I couldn't win.

If I stay I lose her, if I go I lose her.

I sighed, running my hand through my hair, and willing my eyes to stay dry. I loved her more than words. And I knew she loved me too, she had to love me. We were best friends, soul mates; we were made for one another. We were right. So how was it, that one monstrous leach could tear her away from me, even after all the pain he had caused for my love? It was not right. He had hurt her, ripped her apart without a second thought and all for selfish reasons. Did he not realise how much better off she would be with me?

I was the safe option, she would be happy with me, we could have a life. A family, we were perfect because I was not a danger.

Only now that was not completely true. I was a danger. A great danger. No matter what I could not deny that, there was evidence to how much of a danger we could prove, one just had to look at Emily Young, the most gentle soul with such awful scars, to know what I was capable of. I was sure Isabella saw this, and this was why she would not be mine. So then why the hell was she with something a thousand times more dangerous than I?

No matter how much I had denied it to her, I knew that Vampires were much more dangerous than we, I had always told her that Vampires where no match for me. And maybe I should not have lied. I knew too well I could hold my own, but when it came down to it, if a fight ensued I would be dead quickly. But I had wanted at the time to let her know that I was different. I would not want her to suffer for my mistake. But instead I pushed her right into the mouth of the lion.

Literally. They were smiling and happy; they were walking around as though in love, he with his arm around my entire world, He with his lips on the thing most important to me, his hands running over the softest of skin, skin belonging to the person who owned my soul. Just picturing what he was doing, what he could do to her now, and my blood began to boil. Did he not see how dangerous it was?!

I could not just stand by and watch Bella die. I could not stand by and let that _thing _kiss her like I should have been kissing her. Hold her like I should have been holding her. Loving her like I wished to love her. But there was nothing I could do.

My hands were tied.

Such a world that would let something that could have been so good, die for something that would only end in tragedy and death. The death of my beloved. The phrase 'life's a bitch' did not even begin to cover it. I would gladly have been the one to die in her place, so long as she could _live _not as anything but my Bella.

My warm, loving Bella.

My prayers that she would be spared were not answered, they would be left uttered onto deaf ears, I was never a religious person, but would do anything to have the power to save her. But I knew I could only do such, if she wanted to be saved… and my Bella, my sweet, delusional everything, did not wish to be saved. Instead she wished to be lost into a world of darkness and unnatural. And all because of the effect he seemed to have on her, he controlled her somehow, clouded her vision of him, making it seem like he was perfection and light, when he was the closest thing to the devil anyone would ever see. The wolf in sheep's clothing.

But then again I was one to talk was I not. I might have chuckled at the irony of that statement, but instead it brought me a twinge of sadness. Even if I had remained blissfully ignorant I would never have held her like I wished to. She knew too much into this world that I was now sucked into to ever truly go for the one beside her. The normal guy. The average guy. The person who loved her most. I would forever have been on the sidelines, wishing for the day that she would realise that creature for what he was, and then she would see me for what I was, see me for the way I loved her. Praying that, that day would come soon. But deep down I knew it never would.

At least now, knotted so deeply into this mess, I had a chance of capturing her attention in a different light. No matter how small that chance was. The only problem was I never knew if I could truly risk it. I was a coward and I knew it. A big coward, I couldn't face the idea that maybe she truly did not want me in any way. That maybe she was not lying for his benefit, and that she truly had no feeling for me besides friendship, and even that was strained now at best.

The waters lashed harshly against the shore, crashing like a violent wave. Crashing like my heart and hopes.

Would she miss me? I wondered, with him around to keep her from facing her true feelings. Would she even care if I just walked straight out into those waters and allowed them to swallow me whole, to cool my body forever? I was being silly; I knew she would miss me. He couldn't take that away from her. Bella was far too strong to be completely silenced and pushed down, even by a vampire as manipulative as Edward Cullen.

I smiled at the idea of Bella being too much for him to handle. After all, she was rash and impulsive, she went with the flow of her own being, like me, and he thought things through and over reacted to the smallest things. I liked the idea that she would give him some hell, no matter how weak. Because in the end she would still be his and he would forgive her and everyone would be happy.

Besides me. I would forever be left in the dark, my light diminished without her by my side.

I heard the rustlings of footsteps behind me, and I knew my time alone was over when Seth took a seat beside me, looking thoughtful.

"You alright Jake?" he looked out to the waters himself, his voice quiet, his bubbly exterior seeming calmer than usual. I stared straight ahead, taking a moment before answering.

"No. No I'm not Seth… But I think, maybe in time…" I trailed off. Something was on the horizon and I knew it, something nagging in my head some explanation that would prove to be the key to making sure everyone got what they wanted, even the bloodsucker, something that would make us all look past what was happening now and on to a more open ended future. I couldn't explain it, but when I looked into the waters I saw a great change. Change that would be more significant than any change I had ever experienced before in my life, bigger than my destiny twist, bigger than my love for Bella.

Seth turned to face me, a ghost of a smile on his face, the red from the lowering sun shining on his face. "Pretty cool ain't it. Almost like its showing prospects of what are to come, things you could look forward too. I like this time of day the best, it reminds me of what I see when I think of the future." I blinked at him, taken back, Seth chuckled, looking out into the waters again "Oh yeah I can be deep." He looked pretty smug; making me laugh as I pulled his head under my arm and gave ruffled his hair, holding him in a playful headlock. Laughing as he struggled and growled at me under his breath.

"JAKE!"

I jumped to my feet then smirking at the young wolf. "You know what Seth, I think… You've been watching too much Opera. The future is unpredictable, it can't be anticipated, and it has to be weighted out. It is what we make of it and cannot be a certain prediction. You'd think you'd have learnt that by now, Kid." I turned my back to the visions of the future and instead turned to the moments of right now. The battle was not lost yet, and as long as I could I would fight. Not for me, Not for Edward. But for my Bella, and the future that I wanted.

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a/n 2:

_NO MATTER HOW THIS SOUNDED I WAS NOT INSUNUATING ANYTHING WITH SETH AND JACOB! EW! I chose to use Seth and make him say these things to get the idea that he knows more about the world than people expect, I also wanted to get __it across that Jacob and Seth are actually good friends, no matter how Jacob treats him like a kid. And Seth looks up to Jacob, which I think would make Jacob respect him a lot. Think of Seth as like Jacob's little brother._


End file.
